Raspberry interviews: Kylie Patchett
Kylie Patchett is a Mind + Soul Coach for Women Entrepreneurs, who combines her background in biology and forensic science with human behaviour and soul medicine expertise, and years of traditional management skills.
She helps women entrepreneurs break through overwhelm and their own mental BS to create what they crave in business – more self-expression, more abundance, more freedom - without sacrificing their soul, their sanity or their health.
She’s the mum to two little ladies Abby and Clio (who are equal parts enthralled and embarrassed by her bad 80s dance moves) and is married to her volunteer fire-fighting husband, Shane who she met in a nightclub at age 21. They live a quiet country life on the Darling Downs in Queensland. Join Kylie for her Mind Mastery video series for women entrepreneurs!
Let’s jump right in. Kylie, what is your purpose here on this Earth?
I’ve had two main periods of my life where I felt truly powerless, and yet I know now that we always have power and we always have choice. I also know that often when we are sent challenging times, it is to invite us to grow into our fullest soul expression, and what we are meant to be doing in the world. My purpose is to help women to understand the power of healing and surrendering any limits they place on themselves, no matter how deep the pattern is or where it came from, so like me they are free to create the life and business that they crave.
Why did you decide to go from forensic science (and a self-confessed human biology geek) to what you do now?
A long and windy road actually! In between forensic biology and my own online business, I also worked in medical management and respiratory and sleep science. I was deeply unsatisfied with working in Western medicine as a lot of what we were trying to do went directly against my love of the Eastern philosophies who see us a mind-body-soul being rather than the the more Western way of looking at us as a disconnected combo of kidneys, livers, brains, bones, and so on. It also went against my belief that the way we think, feel and behave has a drastic impact on our overall health, and automatic medicating or one size fits all health “solutions” felt wrong to me on so many levels. Suffice to say I was unhappy.
Life intervened with one very big year. My two daughters, Abby and Clio, were born 12 months 6 days apart, and my Dad had a stroke and moved in with us. Going from being the manager of a medical company with lots of staff, responsibility and status to being a full time mum and carer of a 6 month old, an 18 month old and an 85 year old very grumpy man was a big stretching point for me. I lost my identity, really.
We took care of dad for 5 years before he passed and in my grief, I was wallowing in this deep feeling of powerlessness. Why is this happening to me? Why am I overweight, depressed, unmotivated? What do I really want to do in the world? I had a pivotal moment of clarity that told me “Kylie, you created this. Therefore you can un-create it.” So I set about doing exactly that.
In the five years since we have consciously created as a family a life that feels like us. We spent time overseas, and I had solo time in NYC to help heal from Dad’s loss, I opened my online business 4 years ago, and since then have moved multiple times but have now settled in a rural community in Queensland which feels like home. Business wise, I have finally given myself permission to bring all my professional experience, own personal journey, a decade of studying human behaviour and my love and practise of the Eastern philosophies into one beautiful quirky bundle. The funny thing is the same skills that made me a good forensic scientist also make me a very good coach – reading between the lines, pattern recognition, and identifying the parts of a women which “don’t fit” her true nature – the parts that see her as limited, stuck and small rather than radiant, powerful, and complete.
Please tell us what your version of being ‘the WHOLE you’ means, and why it’s so important to you as a person and as a businesswoman?
This has been a big journey for me over the past year too! I have been really aware of trying to be a particular way in business, healing through layers of my own ‘not good enough’ story, and feeling like I have to be “more polished”, “more professional”, “more considered in the way I speak”. Even my branding was beginning to feel completely out of alignment, which goes to show how much you can grow and evolve in just 2 years!
I have also been keeping an entire part of myself under wraps in favour of showing the more analytical, scientific parts of what I do, and not showing the spiritual, alternative, intuitive sides of what my clients enjoy about working with me. Consequently I found myself doing more work that wasn’t a perfect fit for my skills and loves, and less work with the perfect clients. Just recently I’ve shot some fresh video out in country Queensland and now my clients how love working with me are saying “wow that’s just how we see you in all our calls or sessions”. This makes me both relieved and very excited!
I’d love to dive deeper into how you fuse spiritual and energetic practices into your business. What do you use, and how does it help you thrive?
I really infuse these into my life, which of course affects my business. I am anti any rules-based living. I think any prescriptive approach to health, or spirituality, or anything really, is fraught with creating another version of perfectionism. “I can feel good about myself if I meditate, drink a green smoothie, set my new moon intentions and get to three yoga classes per week.” What a lot of rubbish!
I have a much less prescriptive and more grounded approach governed by one central question: “How can I honour myself right now?” Sometimes that means putting your hustle on for a few hours to take a day off with your lover, sometimes it means sitting in the sun with a cuppa, sometimes it does mean going to yoga 3 times per week. Often for me personally it means balancing periods of strive with periods of surrender (quiet, peaceful, joy-filled down time) and even more so balancing my ever-present feeling of “got to get it done” with a more feminine, trust-filled approach to business and life.
As a recovering type-A control freak, my biggest spiritual invitation to myself is to stay connected to how I feel moment to moment, to stay connected to the feelings welling up on the inside (rather than staying up in my head where I am comfortable!) and to trust that all I have to do is be me, and the rest unfolds and aligns as it should.
In terms of specific tools for myself, I again check in with what I need moment to moment: with my go-to tools being embodiment, emotional freedom technique, kinesiology, soul centre work, with a solid anchor of five element theory and Oriental Psychology processes. This is the same sort of process for my clients, checking in intuitively with what they need to honour them in a session or in a group circle and dipping in and out of my full East meets West plus leadership coaching toolbox. In that way I feel we have the most lovely rounded complement of mind-body-soul medicine to access together.
Why do you think some women keep their ‘woo’ practices under wraps?
Hmmm I think for me it was more about not feeling fully trusting of my own less tangible abilities, especially when I come from a science background where it’s all about solid facts and pieces of paper to prove you are an expert. I initially found it hard to truly believe in the things I couldn’t see/feel/touch/taste with my traditional senses. What made a huge difference to me this year was undertaking some more formal soul and energetic medicine study and actively integrating these with all the logical, left-brained stuff, which has been quite magical for both me and my clients.
I also wonder if the trend of going ‘woo’ put me off in favour of staying grounded and practical. The rebel in me resists doing anything everyone else is! I know for my clients a couple of things that come up about sharing their woo is “What will people think of me?” and “That’s just the fluffy stuff.” I think the more we shine the totality and uniqueness of whatever it is we are called to, that feels like our own soul is wagging it’s tail, the more easeful it is to attract clients, to create abundance and to be fully expressed. So I guess you could say I am out of the woo closet and proud!
What does your current business model look like?
I consolidated as a company just over a year ago after almost three years in business. This year, I hired a school-based trainee who physically comes to my office each week to do low level admin and tech-based tasks. I was really missing face-to-face contact and the mentoring I used to do in corporate, so I thought, why not? I also have a tight team of contractors I use during launch periods including a designer and coder, a copywriter, an ads management person and another VA who handles higher levels tasks like integration etc.
I offer high-level, one to one mind and soul coaching to women entrepreneurs, both in full day intensives and ongoing 3 and 6-month connections. My signature program Making Friends with Fear is a mind mastery deep dive for women entrepreneurs and runs twice per year in about March and September. This year I will am opening a 2017 Mind + Soul Mastermind called Limitless, for women entrepreneurs specifically in the healing + coaching + helping fields, to help them heal their own limits, and evolve into the leaders they are meant to be.
In your wildest dreams, where do you see your business empire going?
My intention is to continue to impact 1000s of women entrepreneurs to heal their pasts so they are free to create the businesses and lives they crave. For me this means a massive global impact – when women step into their full power and magnificence, it impacts them, their families and loved ones and creates a love ripple, which quite literally changes the world. We need more light and I intend to help create it.
My business empire has been designed, and will continue to grow to support, that which is most important to me personally – lots of time freedom, living a simple country life, farming together with my husband Shane, and raising grounded, gorgeous daughters who will also go on to create a ripple out into the world as empowered women. In the end each of us are here to live a full and glorious life, and I know the soulful and sustainable way I chose to grow my business is the right way for me.
What’s a happy memory or rewarding project that stands out for you, from your time in business?
Giving myself permission to take a month time out in New York City just after my dad died and sitting in Central Park tapping away on my iPad writing my first book. Sunshine on my shoulder and a light in my heart, that despite me grieving, was growing stronger and stronger. It was my soul calling, calling, calling me to this work, and I am forever grateful to have had the quiet and alone time to listen.
It was the first time in five years I had no active parenting or caring responsibilities and it reminded me how much I like the way I soften and flow when I have ultimate freedom.
Talk us through what typical day (or week!) in the Kylie Patchett world might look like.
Wake up at 5am, off to gym most mornings, Mondays and Tuesdays are usually for marketing or business growth activities so includes podcast interviews or launch planning. Wednesdays I have my trainee here, so focus on training and making sure the day-to-day admin tasks are done for the next week. Thursdays I coach and Fridays is my ‘bookend day’ so I complete all the little bits and pieces. I also check metrics for the past week and make sure I am aligned to my 90-day plan. Friday arvo is usually off or catching up with an entrepreneurial buddy for a coffee or wine Skype date.
I book everything into Asana, so my self-care gets locked in ahead of time as one of the non-negotiables in my week.
Afternoons are usually packed with driving kids here and there, and I also aim to get out to my friend’s farm for rural yoga once in the evening. It’s a long drive, but it’s a much need friend connection time. We don’t know that many people in this new community, and I have definitely been feeling like my social life needs some loving lately. I just joined a local singing group so that should be a good joy anchor for me too!
Down time, and the work vs. life balance deal. How do you make it work?
I love the ocean and now we are so far away, I need to anchor into my year some beach trips to look forward to for soul food. I also really try to make sure each week I have at least 4-5 hours of me solo time. Lucky for me my office is a sanctuary away from our home, so I always have my own space to escape to.
What three key lessons have you learnt in your entrepreneurial path, which continue to carry you forward?
1) Be YOU, everybody else is taken. No one knows better than your own soul what you are meant to be doing. Sure, take advice, but run it through your own knowing as a filter before acting.
2) Your past NEVER dictates your future. You are a field of unlimited potential. Anything that happened to you in the past, in childhood, in previous businesses, anything you decided to be true that is not resourceful, can be healed. You are way more powerful than you give yourself credit for.
3) Strive must be BALANCED by surrender. Ignore this and you are headed back to burn out land. You deserve better than that. Know deep inside that your business and indeed your life are fuelled by an unlimited well of life force. Once you know that, you can take your hands off the wheel more, and trust something bigger than you is responsible for the unfolding of your gifts.
What doubts or fears have you had to face through running a business?
Haha – how long have you got? In business, I have dealt with large doses of not good enough, you have to work hard to make money and deserve success, and success equals sacrificing family time. All of these are a work in process of course, but I feel like this year I have come a long way.
The stories around earning money and not being good with money were probably the most debilitating early on, but now I think my largest step up is to serve an ever-growing number of people whilst taking care of myself and my own needs and staying aligned to the world I wish to create, for me and my family.
What advice would you give to someone who is just starting out?
Figure out what makes you feel like your soul is wagging its tail and who it wags most working with, and design your business around that. Start well before you think you can, be okay for this to be a long-term game as most overnight successes have at least a few years of figuring it out behind them.
Trust you own knowing, and always act like a powerful, radiant, magnificent woman. That may sound strange when you first begin your business, but if you listen, your soul already knows what she is here for – circumnavigate all the trial and error by trusting her! Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, devote yourself to self-mastery as a gateway to success – know that we are never a victim of our circumstances we are only ever limited by what we perceive to be possible.
What's next for you?
Launching Making Friends with Fear in September, and opening up applications to work with me in Limitless – The Mastermind in November, then my customary 6 weeks off in the summer school holidays to enjoying milking, long drives and family time out.
Please tell us your favourite:
Book: I am not reading much at the moment – I found myself “filling up” on information, and instead have chosen to allow space for my own wisdom and guidance to be heard right now.
Website: as above – boring!
Early morning activity: 5:30am gym classes, I love boxing and heavy weights, and then I balance this with a couple of balance or yoga classes. I find moving my body helps me move my mind and spirit so this year this has been a real devotion for me.
Late night activity: light off, candles on, family board game nights. My girls have just gotten into card games, so trying to teach them all the old classics, whilst dealing with my cheeky 11 year olds penchant for bending the rules!
Gourmet snack: baked sweet potato, crumbled fetta, lots of spinach and home made pesto or mayo. Scrummy!